Here are several helpful phrases, organized by intention:
To Acknowledge Their Feelings
Young Children
“I see that you’re really upset right now.”
“It’s okay to feel that way.”
“That sounds really frustrating.”
“You’re feeling sad, and that’s completely okay.”
“I hear you, that was a big deal.”
Adolescents
“It sounds like you’ve been dealing with a lot.”
“That really does seem like a tough situation.”
“I can tell this matters to you.”
“You have every right to feel the way you do.”
“That makes total sense. I get why that would bother you.”
To Show Empathy
Young Children
“I would feel that way too if I were in your shoes.”
“That makes sense why you’d feel [angry/sad/scared/etc.].”
“It’s normal to feel like that sometimes.”
“I get why that hurt your feelings.”
Adolescents
“I’d probably feel the same way if I were in your shoes.”
“That’s completely valid. Anyone would be upset about that.”
“It’s okay to feel overwhelmed sometimes.”
“I hear you. That would be hard for anyone.”
To Let Them Know They’re Not Alone
Young Children
“You’re not alone. I’m here with you.”
“We’ll figure this out together.”
“I’m so glad you told me how you’re feeling.”
“Take your time. I’ll be here when you’re ready.”
Adolescents
“You don’t have to go through this by yourself.”
“I’m here to talk or just listen. Whatever you need.”
“Thanks for sharing. That takes courage.”
To Help Them Name Emotions
Young Children
“It sounds like you might be feeling [nervous/jealous/disappointed]. Does that sound right?”
“Do you think what you’re feeling is more like anger or sadness?”
“It’s hard to tell sometimes, but I think your body is trying to tell you something.”
Adolescents
“Do you think what you’re feeling is more like stress or pressure?”
“It seems like you’re frustrated, is that how it feels to you?”
“Sometimes when things pile up, it’s hard to tell what we’re really feeling, want to talk it through?”
To Offer Support Without Judgment
Young Children
“I’m proud of you for sharing that with me.”
“You’re allowed to feel however you feel, there’s no wrong feeling.”
“You don’t have to fix it all right now. I’m here.”
“I love you, even when you’re upset or having a hard time.”
“It’s okay to be [angry/sad/scared/etc.]. I feel that way too sometimes.”
Adolescents
“There’s no pressure to figure it all out right now.”
“It’s okay to not be okay, you don’t have to have it all together.”
“You’re allowed to feel whatever you’re feeling. No judgment.”
“You’re not being dramatic, what you’re feeling is real.”
Sources
Virginia Department of Health